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The truth is that couples have never learned reliably how to sustain pleasure in intimate relationships.This, I have come to believe, is what has drawn many people into cults--the need to feel part of a bonded community, There is a sense of being at home emotionally as well as physically.Shortly after I began my career as a family therapist I was working in a residential treatment center where troubled teenage boys were sent by the courts.
Intimacy, I have come to believe, is not just a psychological fad, a rallying cry of contemporary couples.
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From my work in closely observing the interactions of hundreds of couples, I have come to recognize that most of what goes wrong in a relationship stems from hurt feelings.
And rare were the parents who modeled intimacy for us; most were too busy struggling with survival requirements.
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